Melting Ice
by Audeamxus
Summary: Awesome Snowylight suddenly receives a secret valentine. He's not sure who it's from or why he received it; after all, he's alone now, isn't he? But when he reads the Jam-A-Gram, he suddenly notices a pattern he hadn't realized before. The day two months ago crashes back to him . . .


**A/N:** Happy Valentine's Day - this is a little one-shot gift for the few of you who read my stories. This one is a WHN of Awesome Snowylight and Snowflake Frozenartist's breakup mentioned in chapter fourteen of Countdown to the Jamaalidays, which was based off the song _Sofia_ by my Senpai (Alvaro Soler).

 _I highly suggest you read that chapter before you read this if you haven't already._ I'm also going to rate this T due to a more adult-like situation.

* * *

The new year hadn't been that eventful for Awesome Snowylight - or at least not yet. The only things he could do were scribble down his thoughts, walk around, and sleep. He realized how much better it was to be alone. No excess noise, no people to please, no rules to obey, and no problems to deal with. Awesome couldn't believe he had ever thought living in the urban area of Jamaa was a good idea. He was spammed with Jam-A-Grams every day and now he hadn't seen a thing in his mailbox except those annoying advertisements for books and merchandise since December.

Today, that last fact decided to change as he flipped open the mailbox.

A dark pink card with hearts on one side and tiny words scribbled on the other was leaning against the left side of the mailbox. Surprised, Awesome grabbed the card and searched for a username, but found none. It only showed "Secret Valentine".

This has got to be a joke, Awesome thought, shaking his head. _Who doesn't put their username on a card and writes "Secret Valentine" instead? Nobody even knows me anymore. I'm just that coyote everyone will forget and replace after a while. Even Snowflake will - or did._

Awesome scowled and stormed back into the den. _Don't think about Snowflake._ He didn't want to be reminded of Snowflake Frozenartist ever again. If Snowflake didn't think he was good enough, why should he have to remember her?

As he plopped himself back down onto the couch, he turned the Jam-A-Gram back and forth, trying to see if there was any hint of a username. Surely it was sent to the wrong person. It had to have been. His username was pretty similar to some other usernames - he was sure of that.

"Secret Valentine, huh?" Awesome muttered to himself. "I wonder who this valentine is."

He began to read what the card said in the tiny letters.

 _I won't bother to make this sound formal. In fact, I'm going to make this a secret valentine. It's a new thing that's allowed now. Anyway, Awesome, I want to say that I miss you. I know we're better off not together, but I still miss you. Maybe I only went off with Apprentice like that because I wasn't sure what to do, but I hope you can forgive me._

Went off with Apprentice? That name sounded familiar. Awesome wasn't sure where he heard it, but it reminded him of Snowflake...

 _I wish we could start over, but I know you don't want to go back to this crowded area of Jamaa. I knew all along that you hated it and maybe I should have asked if you wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere where we'd both like it. I don't know why I was so stupid. I wasn't planning on talking to you ever again. I just wanted to let you know that I won't forget you. You can forget me if you want, but nothing is going to make me forget you. If you want to block me, that's okay. Goodbye now._

For a few seconds, Awesome did nothing. He stared at the card, rereading it over and over, the scene from two months ago replaying in his head over and over again, coming back stronger than ever. He could remember every single detail.

* * *

" _Let me tell you something. When I was young, I dreamed. And you better believe that I dreamed a lot. And you know what? I didn't worry about any impositions in the way. There wasn't any worry in my heart. But now, all those days are fading away. Nothing's left, nada."_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I wanted you so much before, but now I only see you. I see you as nothing now. I don't want you anymore. How could you do this to me, Snowflake?"_

" _Look, Awesome, I didn't mean that - "_

" _If Apprentice is the one you want, then I'll go on without you! I don't need that innocent look on your face with me anymore! ¡Sigo sin tu mirada!"_

" _We were happy before, and we still could be. You're just the one who decided to - "_

" _¿Dices que eramos felices? Well, it's all over now! ¡Todo ya pasó! You were also the one who decided to cheat!"_

" _If you don't care about me anymore, why should I want you?!"_

" _I get it now. Apprentice makes you fly, he makes you dream, he makes you happy. All I did was break your wings, right?"_

" _Sí."_

" _How can I trust that? I don't believe you anymore. Nothing that you say. You said you and Apprentice did nothing. How was that nothing?"_

" _If it was everything then it was nothing, too - "_

" _Look, Snowflake...¿comó te mira? In what way does he look at you? If he's not the right Jammer - "_

" _He's better than you!"_

" _Why haven't you been telling me the truth?!"_

" _Because I don't have to tell you the truth!"_

" _I'm leaving now. I'm leaving right now. And remember! ¡Sin tu mirada!"_

* * *

After he stormed out the door and into the snow, he didn't expect for Snowflake to talk to him again. In fact, he didn't expect that she'd even remember his username. As the wind picked up that day, he was convinced the cold would freeze his broken heart and never thaw.

Now, as he sat in the living room, running his paw against the Jam-A-Gram, he felt a strange sensation wash over him. It wasn't love or arousal - heck, both of those were over for him, and besides, this was different. It was something familiar, yet something he hadn't felt for a long time.

Then it hit him - forgiveness.

Sure, there were times where he didn't want to forgive. There were times where he wanted his enemies to suffer. Now, it didn't seem to have any effect on him. No matter how much he thought about it, it seemed more easy to forgive and forget than to dwell on it forever.

Maybe that was what naturally happened to him just a few minutes ago.

" _If you don't care about me anymore, why should I want you?!"_

 _And if you forgive me,_ Awesome thought, trying to respond, _why shouldn't I forgive you?_

He sat up suddenly. As he scanned the card with his eyes again, he stopped once more.

 _Maybe I only went off with Apprentice like that because I wasn't sure what to do, but I hope you can forgive me._

"Wasn't sure what to do" seemed to stand out to Awesome from the rest of the Jam-A-Gram. How could Snowflake have not known what to do? Was he doing something that made her upset? Maybe they never were meant for each other if they couldn't even tell what was wrong. Maybe Awesome had tried to jump too far with a relationship.

As he stood up, he grabbed a blank Jam-A-Gram card and began scribbling on the back of it.

 _I will not bother to make this a secret valentine since it's already clear who I am. I will try to make this short, Snowflake. I did love you. I truly did. And guess what? I probably still do and I just don't know it. The thing is, you told me you forgave me, but it's me who should be forgiving you, and I do. I hope this problem can be forgotten now._

Awesome paused. He knew that although forgiving another was one of the best things to do when a problem was at hand, it never always brought peace and the issue could never be forgotten. Any small event could have a tiny effect on a Jammer and leave a mark in their life.

 _Well, what I mean by that is, don't dwell on it forever. Don't take any offense, but I never want to see you again. Like I said, "sigo sin tu mirada". So let's just pretend this didn't happen, but remember that it did at the same time. Maybe we can use it to help us make better choices in the future instead of using it against someone else._

He set down his pen and went outside into the icy weather and slipped it into the delivery box. As the door to it fell shut with a _creak_ and then a _thud,_ it reminded him again of how he had felt that day. Slowly pulling apart from Snowflake - the _creak_ \- until they were separated - the _thud._

Turning around, Awesome started back into his den, careful not to slip on the nearly transparent ice, looking almost the same as the tan pathway underneath.

 _Ice…_

That was when he realized that he hadn't slipped at all on the ice behind him, despite stepping on it.

He slowly put his paw on the ice in front of him and tried to stake a step forward, but his paws suddenly shifted. Awesome quickly caught himself and paused again.

This situation felt somewhat familiar to him.

Then he realized it:

He was always dwelling on the problems of life, which was why they seemed to get to him all the time. When he didn't think about them, they didn't seem to affect him that much. It was the same with the ice. He hadn't thought about it, so he hadn't slipped on it. But when he was focused on it, thinking about slipping, he had (almost) slipped.

 _But just like how forgiveness doesn't always bring peace, ignoring a problem doesn't exactly solve it,_ he told himself. _Although it might help us focus on the positive parts of life._

What was positive about the breakup?

Snowflake might be happier now. Awesome had a feeling she was. When they were still together, they always wanted each other to be happy, didn't they?

" _Hey, you're happier now, 'cause you're alone, aren't you?"_

Awesome heard Snowflake's voice, loud and clear. He looked around, but saw no one.

It was only his imagination.

Then he laughed, walking back into his den.

"Oh, Snowflake," he laughed with sarcasm, shaking his head. "I wonder how I could possibly be happy if I can never forget you."

* * *

 **A/N:** A little lame, I know. But let me know what you think and don't forget to drop a review. I think I'll return to the "Soler System" now.

 _Volar con el viento…_

~2023zhanl38


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